JASON SCOTT THOMPSON 1/23/81 - 2/11/10
A year ago when Jason thought he had sciatic nerve problems, we never imagined what the next 9 months would have in store for him. This year was agonizing for Jason and I cannot even believe how he could endure so much and still keep a level of grace and kindness in the midst of it all. I never heard him complain or say why me. I have always been so proud to stand next to him and say I was his mother. I liked who he was, how he conducted himself and the integrity he had. He was so easy to be around and had such a nice air about him. He was so kind and thoughtful to me and to others all the way to the end. He would always say thank you or make sure to shake your hand. A small wave, if that was all he could do, and at the end it was a faint nod. I would tell him that I was so blessed that God gave him to me.
We did not have the typical mother/son relationship; it was so much more than I could ever ask for. We were great friends.
Jason moved to Santa Rosa, Florida in 2004 to start a new life. In April 2007 I moved down to help Jason with his new business and was very happy at his invitation to do so. We shared a condo during this time, but after years apart it was as if we were two friends sharing expenses and not so much a mother/son relationship. I have been so lucky to spend every day with him these last three years and to experience the amazing man he had grown up to be. Writing the word amazing brings up a memory of a decision made a few years ago. I really should say Jason was awesome as he and his brother Jerry would joke with their competitive natures to decide which one of them was more amazing and should have the title Mr. Amazing. In brotherly love they deemed Jason, Mr. Awesome and Jerry, Mr. Amazing.
I feel the world has lost an awesome person who would have continued to make a huge difference for many years. I cannot believe the difference he made in 29 years. But maybe he still will.
It has been asked of me often during this past year?, How do you keep doing this day after day for months, or don't forget to take time for yourself. When I would leave to take time for myself I would ask myself what do I want to do and it would always be? I want to be with Jason.
My heart was always saying to me to spend every second with him no matter what. I didn't want to miss an opportunity for a hug or to share a thought or just tell him I loved him.
I know he appreciated me being there even if it was only to silence the IV beeping. He was really tired of that noise and on a few occasions he proceeded to take the IV flow tube out and try to fix it himself. I told him the nurses would not be happy to see this when they walked into the room but he did not seem to care. He would try to flick the air bubbles out of the line as he had seen the nurses do so many times. I think he just wanted to have something to do to help. It was a nice sign for me to see him take interest in doing something even if he wasn't supposed to and I was glad to see the nurses didn't scold him too much.
I knew when he became healthy again I would have all the time in the world to sleep and do things for myself. My two sons have been my whole life and I am not afraid to say so. What else is there? In the scheme of life we strive for success and we seem to be trying to get something? When we get old all we really want is family. I just chose to want family first and strive for only that. The rest is secondary.
After having this happen to Jason I am so glad I did things the way I did and chose to spend every possible second with him. I do not regret any sleepless night or any day of work I missed or the money I did not make. I would do it all over again??????????? I feel blessed to have been able to be there and that it was an honor to help him.
It is so sad that he cannot fulfill the dreams he had for his life. He so wanted to be a father and was looking forward to meeting someone, getting married and having his own family. He loved children and would have been the most amazing father. He had a great heart and the kindness and patience to be just that.
What I have wanted most ever since I could remember was to raise a family, enjoy my old years with my children coming home with grandchildren and having a house filled with pictures on the walls. I would tell Jason and Jerry over the years that this was my dream.
This past May on Mother's day Jason made 3 large photo collages for me to start this collection for my house of pictures. I cried so hard when he gave these to me because he was already in so much pain at that time but he still managed to put this together for me. He always was so kind and thoughtful. He would call if I was gone too long just to make sure I was alright. Some days he would light candles and have classical music on when I got home from work if he knew I was having a bad day.
But things changed so quickly after that Mothers Day and we found ourselves spending most of our life in Jacksonville away from home. One thing I want to express to you all is that I'm sorry if you ever felt bad about not hearing back from emails or phone calls you made to him. Most of the time it took all of his energy just to get through the next minute.
In August the Drs. said we could go home for a few weeks to give Jason some recovery time after all his chemo and his extended hospital stay in June and July. To pack and get things in order for an indefinite stay in Jacksonville since they felt very strongly Jason should not be more than 5 minutes away from the Mayo at any given time because of how ill he was.
I arranged for an open house during this time for his soccer kids and their parents to come and say hello. Everyone commented on how good he looked (even though he only weighed 110 lbs. ) and that he seemed to be doing really good. Actually he was really struggling but he didn't want anyone to know. He would ask how YOU were doing and when you asked how he was, he would say he was just fine. There is a picture of Jason with his last soccer team that he coached in the video overhead. I knew he really struggled during this season with pain and really had a hard time going to practices and games. I received an email a few days ago from the Head of Inter98 and US98 Soccer that was sent out to teams/parents in NW Florida and I would like to read you this email.